New
What’s new
The site keeps growing. Here’s everything newly added, and everything that’s been expanded, with the newest first. Tap any card to go straight there.
Easier to find your way, two more chapters and Season 2
Added on . Everything here is free, with no sign-up.
- All tools, by type NEW
Every tool in one place, grouped by what it is for: communication, knowing yourself, sharing the load, calm, family, work and play. Each one says what it does, what you get and how long it takes.
- Find your starting point NEW
Three quick questions (who it is about, what is going on, how much time you have), then one thing to try first.
- Living on your own, living well NEW
Any age, any reason: alone not lonely, a home for one, making friends as an adult, asking for help and safety basics.
- Your nervous system, in plain words NEW
The stress response, fight, flight and freeze, the vagus nerve, and what helps your body settle. The calming supplements page grew too, with filters by condition and neurotype.
- How you take things in NEW
Pick how your mind takes things in, by neurotype (ADHD, autistic, dyslexic and more) or by plain preferences, and every page adapts. Optional, and kept on your device.
- Talk it through in writing NEW
One topic, facts not verdicts, one clear ask and a reply-by time. Write it, wait, then send it. A bridge back to talking, not a replacement for it.
- Part Three, Chapters 16 and 17, and an afterword NEW
Worry, low mood and trauma. Fitting in: groups, influence and culture. And a short afterword on what the book adds up to. The whole book now has 26 chapters and an afterword.
- Frequency Buddies Season 2: The Great Big Sea NEW
Three new episodes: the pals sail out of sight of land and learn to ask “fixing, hugging or listening?”, get lost in the fog on Lantern Island and learn to thank the quiet jobs, and meet Lumi, a new friend, and learn to make room. Your device reads the lines in its own voice; captions are always on.
Three new worksheets and a 30-day look-back
Added on . There are now ten workpapers and two calculators. Each one fills in on screen, and what you type stays on your device.
- Same moment, different speeds NEW
One of you wants to sort it now, the other needs time. Map each person’s speed in five everyday moments, then agree one small fix. WP-12.
- Is it us, or is it everything else? NEW
A one-week log that keeps outside pressure (work, money, sleep, illness) apart from friction between you, and ends in a plan. WP-14.
- Keep your little rituals alive NEW
The Sunday walk, the morning coffee, the goodnight text. A 15-minute check every few months on which rituals are alive, fading or stopped, and one to restart. WP-15.
- Look back over 30 days NEW
How things were a month ago next to how they are now: who did what, last-minute rescues, everyone’s load and jobs with an owner. See what shifted, what didn’t, and one next step. CALC-02.
Three more chapters on understanding people
Added on . Part Three of the book now has fifteen chapters, and the whole book has 24.
Gentler ways in, and help beyond the site
Added on . Easier first steps, honest examples, and where to turn when you need more than a website.
- Week 0, and the six weeks in your calendar NEW
Five minutes before the six gentle weeks, and a reminder for each week in your own calendar. Missing a week is fine.
- Someone sent you this? NEW
What the site is in three lines, with no pressure, and kind messages to send someone else.
- What small changes look like NEW
Made-up examples built from common patterns: couples, housemates, siblings, co-parents, friends, co-founders and more.
- Help beyond this site NEW
Finding a counsellor, free helplines, support groups and a few well-known books.
- Calming supplements and herbs: what the research says NEW
Chamomile, magnesium, ashwagandha, St John’s wort, melatonin and lesser-known options, each with an honest evidence rating, side effects and who should avoid it. Plus the most useful studies to read, and what to check with a pharmacist.
- The research behind the site MORE
The studies and books behind the pages, in plain words, with how strong the evidence is. Pages that name a study now link to it.
- High contrast NEW
A new switch in Settings: plain black and white, clear outlines and a strong focus ring. Tap here to open Settings.
Understanding people, and pages for more of you
Added on . A new part of the book about how people work, and new pages for friends, families, couples, housemates and people on their own.
- The book, Part Three: Understanding people NEW
Twelve new chapters on how people work, for anyone: feelings, stress, how we see each other, talking, trust, change, self-worth, grief, minds that work differently, values, healing and helping. Each has a short version and an in-depth one.
- Effective communication NEW
A complete, plain guide: listening, saying what you need, picking a good time, hard talks, repair, and talking well in every kind of relationship.
- Small wins, and turning the hard stuff into fuel NEW
Why small wins build momentum, and kind ways to turn anger, worry and complaints into requests and plans. With a Flip it tool and a done list.
- Bonding: how closeness grows NEW
What research says about how people grow close, with small ideas for partners, kids, friends, family, coworkers and you.
- The book, expanded MORE
The book now has three parts: yourself, between us, and understanding people. The guide to the book shows where to start and a suggested order for Part Three.
- Where am I right now? NEW
Four quick taps show if you’re calm, revved up or running on empty, with what helps right now and when to talk again.
- Say no kindly NEW
Pick a situation and a tone, and get kind, clear ways to turn something down.
- Everything by relationship NEW
Every page in one place, sorted by who it’s for, with a box to type in.
- Friends NEW
When a friendship drifts, you’re always the one reaching out, or a new baby changes things.
- More than two partners NEW
Sharing the load as a triad or polycule, and joining a home without feeling like a guest.
- Gaming, phones and time together NEW
A calm talk with no blame, and a small time-together deal to fill in.
- Money together NEW
Saver and spender, moving in, wedding costs, and normal limits versus control.
- Foster, adoptive and kinship families NEW
Including grandparents raising grandchildren.
- When a child has ADHD NEW
For parents and grandparents: routines, kind words, and looking after yourselves.
- For grown-up children NEW
Boundaries with a parent you love: visits, advice and the new baby.
- Coming home after time apart NEW
After deployment, work away or a hospital stay: a handover week and finding your place again.
- Different hours NEW
Night shifts, shift work, or one of you works from home and seems always available.
- Two faiths, one family NEW
Two faiths or cultures under one roof: holidays, names and family expectations.
- Coming out as an adult NEW
To family, at work or with a partner, at your own pace and with your safety first.
- On my own NEW
After a breakup or divorce, and part-time parenting when the kids are with you some days.
- For counsellors, coaches and group leaders NEW
What this site is and isn’t, and how to use the free pages with clients and groups.
- Sharing a room NEW
Dorm or flat: a room agreement to fill in together.
- Family rifts NEW
Adult siblings after a loss, a will or years of silence: reaching out, or deciding you’re not ready.
- Kids grown and gone NEW
When the house is quiet between you: small ways to find each other again.
- When one of you is ill NEW
Chronic illness or disability: share by energy, not hours.
Easier to use
Added on . Small changes that make the site quicker to use and easier to share.
- Lemonade Stand: Quick look EASIER
Type your names, tap who does each job, and see the picture straight away.
- Focus on what you’re learning NEW
Pick one or more areas, and the menus, search and suggestions show just those. Safety pages always stay.
- Watch and listen EASIER
Cartoons, music and calm sounds now have their own place in the menu, apart from the games.
- More ways to share NEW
The Share button now offers more places, a QR code to show on screen, and saving a line as a picture.
- Visualize your own music NEW
Drift and Brain Breakers can move with music you’re already playing. Your browser asks first, and nothing is recorded.
- Professor Puddles: small talk, deep chats and pictures NEW
Say hello and chat a little, go deeper on a topic, or ask for a one-page picture of an idea.
For more of you, and easier to come back to
Added on and . Eight more visitors told us who the site was missing. Here is what changed.
- Caring for someone you love NEW
For when the person you care for can’t share the load back, like with dementia: who else can help, words to ask, and where to find respite and support.
- En español NUEVO
Una página corta en español: cuando los hijos pelean, cuando gritas, cuando estás muy enojado, y si no estás a salvo en casa.
- Being yourself at home NEW
For LGBTQ+ teens: coming out on your own terms, when a parent mocks who you are, and free, private help just for you.
- At work NEW
The plain version for teams: one owner per job, messages that land, appreciation that fits, and a 45-minute team session. Add
?work=1to any link to share it without the cartoons. - Grief and later life NEW
Loss, family after a loss, reconnecting with grown children, and starting a new chapter, with places to get help.
- Everything is open NEW
Every chapter, workpaper and tool is free and open, with no sign-up, no account and no paid version. Email updates are optional. Tools now go by one plain name each.
- Not safe at home? NEW
Free hotlines, a quick way to leave this site, and how to clear what it keeps on your device.
- For teens NEW
Parents, friends, feelings and dating, written for you, with places to get help.
- For parents NEW
Big feelings, siblings who fight, calm-down routines, teens, and watching the pups together.
- Leading a group NEW
A free six-session guide with discussion questions and one-page handouts. No sign-up for anyone.
- The book, on your own NEW
Every chapter now ends with an “On your own” part, linked to the matching step of your self path.
- Your self path remembers NEW
Mark each step done, and the home page shows your next step and what’s new since your last visit.
- A weekly reminder NEW
Add a ten-minute reminder to your own calendar. It just says “10 minutes for me”, and nothing is sent to us.
Easier to find, calmer to use
Added on . Eighteen different visitors browsed the site and told us what got in the way. Here is what changed.
- Tidbit and Sugarfoot’s Arcade NEW
The Frequency Journey is now Tidbit and Sugarfoot’s Arcade, with three more gentle classics: The Treat Trail (a wagon-trail journey in the spirit of the old pioneer games), Bubble Break (a brick breaker) and Treat Shower (a catch game). Every level is new now too: fresh mazes, shuffled road and river lanes, new walls and hedges, and kindness lines that don’t repeat. Still no game over.
- Articles through Professor Puddles NEW
Ask Professor Puddles for a good article on anything (“find me an article about stress”, “any good reads on apologies?”) and he picks three from the site’s hand-picked reading list, never the same one twice in a chat. Ask for “more” and he finds others. They open on the publisher’s own site.
- How the languages fit together NEW
Love, apology and appreciation languages, touchstones and your wiring in one picture of six layers from you outward, what to reach for when, and how well each idea holds up.
- Touchstones: your shared language NEW
The nicknames, jokes, rituals and stories that say we are us, written like the love languages guide, with a short list to fill in. It was a section in Complacency; now it has its own page.
- Apology languages NEW
Five parts of a sorry that different people need, with what research says works best and words to use.
- Appreciation at work NEW
Five ways people like to be thanked at work, as a menu, not a label.
- The book starts with you NEW
Part One, “The most important: yourself,” is three new sections: Then (where your lens came from), Now (your wiring, weather and words) and Next (what matters to you and small steps toward it). The Preface and Chapters I to V are now Part Two, “Between us.”
- Get the app, with a dancing ad NEW
Press Install and the app installs right there when your browser allows it. The install page starts with a choice: Android (install now), iPhone and iPad (add it to your Home Screen from Safari) or a computer. Tidbit and Sugarfoot moonwalk and break dance on the home page to point you there, and the numbered steps no longer collide with their text.
- Turn your phone sideways EASIER
On phones, the Brain Breakers picture, the cartoons, the teaser, Drift and the Night Garden now say when a sideways phone gives a bigger picture, and full screen asks the phone to turn on Android.
- Season 2 trailer, now two minutes NEW
A movie-trailer voice-over, seven slapstick gags with famous movie moments in disguise, longer dialogue, and a Voices button that reads it aloud.
- Find your Brain Breaker NEW
Three quick taps (what you need, how your body is, how you like sound) and it suggests one of the three Brain Breakers, tells you why, and lets you save a go-to. It also shows what you play most, on your device only.
- Brain Breakers NEW
The whole Soundscapes page is now Brain Breakers: four short instrumental pieces for a real break. Shooting Star is soft and floating, Thunderous Shimmer is textured and curious, Watching a Shooting Star is expansive and cinematic, and the new Bouncy Bedroom is short, cozy and playful, each with notes on what it is best for. Press play on the home page or at the end of any program page for a three-minute Brain Break. The older calm tracks and live soundscapes have left this page; the Breathe button still has its own calm sounds.
- See and feel the sound NEW
See and feel the sound is now the big stage at the top of Soundscapes: a large live picture of the track that is playing (stars, aurora, rings, tunnel, bars or wave, with Auto choosing looks that suit each track), a card with the track’s own notes and an energy meter, full screen, a slim bar that follows you down the page, and optional gentle vibration on Android phones that can match each track. The breathing pacer on Upset right now can buzz too. Everything stays on your device.
- Break dancing, joke swaps and silly walks NEW
On the pal cam, Tidbit and Sugarfoot now have a break dance battle, trade jokes, and do a silly walk parade. The birds at the concert bring signs for both of them.
- Love languages: a menu, not a label NEW
What is healthy and unhealthy about each of the five, how to practice and talk about them, a care card, and similar ideas like apology languages and bids.
- Get the app NEW
Install the whole site on Android in a few taps, with its own icon and offline use. Plus an honest answer about widgets.
- Upset right now? NEW
Five minutes for two upset people: a pause line with a return time, a breathing pacer, and how to come back. No sign-up.
- Share the load, step by step NEW
The splitting tools in the order to use them, with a section for roommates.
- New baby, sharing the load NEW
Three steps for the baby jobs and the invisible ones, with a note on when to ask for help.
- Separated co-parents NEW
Calmer handoffs, a tone check, a parallel-parenting route and a safety note.
- Surprise me NEW
One button picks a game, a guide or something calm.
- Method and limits NEW
Every score, formula and cut-off written out, with what each cannot tell you.
- A shorter menu and home page EASIER
Seven plainly named menu groups with each page listed once, a shorter home page, and calmer defaults: the Puddles hello and pup visits come less often, and the join banner no longer sits on the first screen.
Newest: Complacency
Added on . What happens in the long stretch where nothing seems wrong, and how to keep things alive.
- Complacency: when “it’s fine” stops being checked NEW
Complacency isn’t laziness. It’s what happens when something has worked for a long time and we stop looking. The quiet signs, how it shows up in you, partners, family, friends, housemates and coworkers, how it differs from contentment and acceptance, and small, kind re-checks. Also woven into the relationships guide, Know your own wiring, Turning Toward, Check-ins, the Five Pillars, the book’s chapters and the Library. It also covers how to raise it with someone, with context from both sides, and touchstones: the shared words, jokes and stories that say “we’re us.”
- The Frequency Journey is now an arcade NEW
Pick Tidbit or Sugarfoot, then a game: Treat Chase, a maze where you gather every treat while friendly-ish clouds of Static drift about, or Cross the Way, where you hop over a busy road and ride the logs and lily pads to five doghouses. Steer with the arrow keys, a swipe, a tap or big on-screen arrows. No game over: a bump just sends your pup back to the start. Frequency Buddies lives on the same page.
- The Re-check Drive NEW
A calm football game made from the complacency playbook. Do a small, kind thing for real (notice, ask, thank, share your side, ask for theirs) and the ball moves toward a field goal. No clock, no way to lose, and nothing you type leaves your device.
Newest: Wavelength
Added on . A fuller way to understand how you think, talk and listen.
- Wavelength replaces Your Heartprint NEW
Pick your wiring, find your Wave Code, read your self-discovery chapters. Choose any mix of wiring (or none), tap through four short parts for your four-letter Wave Code and archetype, explore how the nine inputs of learning connect, and compare codes with someone. Your Heartprint statement is still there as Part 7, and your saved answers came with you.
- The Bears Dojo NEW
A calm temple garden with a fountain and streams, tended by Tidbit and Sugarfoot. Build a little bear that looks like you, then step inside for something gentle and always different: a breath, a singing bowl, stacking stones, a kind-word card, a memory match and more. No timers, no scores, and everything stays on your device.
- The polymath way grows to thirteen fields NEW
The art of debating, politics, music and the healing power of laughter join the original nine. Every pair now connects, all 78 of them, with a longer chain, new deep connections and flowcharts for all thirteen. The polymath way is also at the bottom of every menu, in the footer of every page, and in the Preface of the book.
- Everything you can do on your own, in one menu EASIER
The Know yourself menu now holds every tool and page one person can use alone: your self path, Today’s Weather, your load, the calm tools, the tools that help before a hard talk, the “Just me” worksheets and the reading. Anything that needs someone else stays under Tools for two.
- Meet Kip the Paperclip NEW
A small, friendly paperclip now sits by the Share buttons. Tap him for a trick (he dances, spins, bends into a heart and more), and he does a happy dance when you pass a page along. Don’t want him? Switch him off in Settings.
Easier to find your way
Added on . Clearer ways in, kinder reading, and a few things that were getting in the way, fixed.
- Where your lens came from NEW
How each stage of growing up shapes what you expect of yourself and others, why timing matters, and the rulebook from home. Woven into Know your own wiring and the self path.
- Start in 10 minutes NEW
One short, straight path: check your weather, read the Preface, try one practice card and log one thing. Nothing to sign up for.
- Sent this by someone? NEW
What the other person sees, what stays yours, doing your side privately, and a warm way to say yes, not yet or no. There’s a ready-to-copy invitation too.
- A tracker for six gentle weeks NEW
Turn it on to keep your start date and tick off each week. It stays on your device, and Erase removes it.
- Which part of the program to use NEW
Six weeks, the Workpaper Suite, the package and report, and the indexes, side by side, with which to use when.
- Plain names and their technical names NEW
Every tool’s everyday name beside the technical name you may meet on the Full pages, so the two never get confused.
- Search, and a real contents list EASIER
Search every page’s title and words from the menu, right on your device. The Contents page now lists every page, and each chapter shows where you are, with previous and next.
- Dark mode and reading options EASIER
Dark mode follows your device, or switch it next to “Keep the page still.” In the menu, Reading options offers bigger text and a way to hide the helpers.
Newly added
Brand-new pages and things to try.
- The Five Pillars NEW
The five ideas under everything here, how each one works inside you and between you and others, and a map of which pillars every chapter, workpaper and tool puts to work.
- Drift: the calm visualizer NEW
Pick how you feel, put on headphones, and float through slow, deep 3D colors while binaural tones and a breathing guide ease you toward calm.
- The Professor’s Library NEW
233 short, plain-language entries on psychology, behavioral science and conflict resolution, each tied to the program. Professor Puddles can chat about all of them.
- Something to read NEW
Hand-picked articles from Psychology Today, Greater Good and the Gottman Institute, for understanding yourself or getting on with others.
- The Frequency Journey NEW
Now an arcade: pick Tidbit or Sugarfoot, then a maze chase or a road-and-river crossing. See the newest card above for what changed.
- Soundscapes NEW
The first soundscape tracks. The page is now all Brain Breakers: see the newest cards above.
- Chat with Professor Puddles NEW
Ask a question in your own words and get an answer made only from this site’s pages, with a link to read more. What you type stays on your device.
- Levels that grow the background NEW
Every few levels in the calm games, something new appears in the garden behind every page (a swing, koi, a bridge, a gazebo and more), and it joins in with the animals playing there.
- The Daily Ledger Crossword NEW
A newspaper-style crossword, from a quick Mini to a Big Sunday, with hundreds of puzzles.
- Word Bloom and Quiet Crossword NEW
Two calm word games with difficulty levels, a random puzzle any time, and a tip from the program after every level.
- The Workpaper Suite NEW
Every workpaper as a fillable, printable PDF, gathered for the road you’re on, with a week-by-week plan and a full report written for each kind of relationship.
Expanded and deeper
Parts of the site that now go further than before.
- Mini dives, from the shore to the deep DEEPER
Tap a word with the little water drop, anywhere in the course. There are now 172 of them, and each one wades in step by step: the shore, toes in the water, the shallows, waist deep, then the full page.
- Chapters that keep growing GROWING
Every chapter of the book now grows in place: as each part of the program is developed, new material is added right inside that chapter. (Later simplified: chapters are now updated in place, without a “still growing” note.)
- Little friends as you read MORE
Cheerful characters, often in silly disguises, sit between the sections of reading pages. They cheer you on, share a “did you know?” that fits the page, and some will chat.
- A scene for every part of the site MORE
A beach, a mountain lake, a flower meadow, a river and a pine forest, each lit by your own clock, from dawn to night. The Night Garden always stays night.
- A livelier garden MORE
The garden behind every page is full of new adventures: capes and flying saucers, a little plane, kites, catch, water balloons, swims, naps in the hammock and dances in the gazebo.
Looking for everything at once? The Contents and its site directory list every page, and the Roadmap shows what’s finished and what’s next.