The book

Download the book as a PDF

Keep the book on your phone, tablet or computer, or print it. Pick the whole book or a smaller book that fits you, in the short or the full version. Each one is a designed book: a cover, contents with page numbers, part and chapter openers, “What to remember” and “This connects to” at the end of every chapter, a glossary, research notes and an index.

Your email, then your download

To download a PDF, enter your email address. It goes to Buttondown, our email service, so we can send you a short note when something new is added to the book or the site. You can unsubscribe from any email in one tap. Reading the book here on the site never needs an email.

This device remembers that you unlocked the downloads (not your address), so you won’t be asked again here. Privacy policy.

The Whole Book

Every chapter, all three parts. 26 chapters and an afterword.

The Book for One Person

Part One (self-discovery) and Part Three (understanding people): everything you can read and use on your own. 20 chapters.

The Book for Two or More

Part Two (between us): sharing a home, work or care with partners, family, housemates, co-parents or coworkers. 6 chapters.

Understanding People

Part Three on its own: how feelings, stress, trust, change, grief and love work. 17 chapters.

Prefer to read online? The book’s home has every chapter, free, with no email.

Last updated: October 2026