Help beyond this site

This site is a set of small tools, not therapy. Sometimes you need a person: a counsellor, a helpline, or a group of people going through the same thing. Here is a short list of well-known places to start.

Find a counsellor or therapist

Relationship counsellors don’t only see couples. Many also see families, siblings, co-parents and people on their own. When you search, look for “relationship”, “family” or “couples and families”.

• Psychology Today therapist finderUS and moreSearch by place, issue, cost and insurance. Also covers the UK, Canada and other countries.
• TherapistLocator.netUS and CanadaMarriage and family therapists, from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
• Open Path CollectiveUSLower-cost sessions with licensed therapists, for people on a tight budget.
• RelateUKRelationship counselling for couples, families and individuals, in person, by phone or online.
• BACP: find a therapistUKThe British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s directory of registered counsellors.
• NHS mental health servicesEnglandFree NHS Talking Therapies. In most areas you can refer yourself without seeing a GP.

Already seeing someone? For counsellors and coaches explains how these tools can sit alongside sessions. You could show it to them.

Someone to talk to, free

For a hard night, not only a crisis. These are free and confidential. In danger right now, call your emergency number (911 in the US and Canada, 999 in the UK).

• 988 Suicide & Crisis LifelineUSCall or text 988, any time. You don’t have to be suicidal to call.
• Crisis Text LineUSText HOME to 741741, any time.
• NAMI HelpLineUSInformation and support about mental health, for you or someone you love. Weekdays.
• SamaritansUK and IrelandCall 116 123, free, any time, about anything that’s weighing on you.
• ShoutUKText SHOUT to 85258, any time, if you’d rather type than talk.
• Find a HelplineAnywhereFree helplines in your country, sorted by topic.
• Safety & supportOn this siteIf anyone at home makes you feel afraid or controlled: free, private lines for adults and teens, and a quick way to leave this site.

Support groups: people in the same boat

Groups meet in person or online. You can usually just listen the first time.

• Al-Anon Family GroupsWorldwideFor family and friends of someone who drinks too much.
• NAMI support groupsUSFree groups for people living with a mental health condition, and separate ones for their families.
• Family Caregiver AllianceUSSupport and online groups for people caring for a relative or partner.
• Carers UKUKAdvice, a helpline and local and online groups for unpaid carers.
• GingerbreadUKFor single parents, including advice on co-parenting and child arrangements.
• PFLAGUSLocal groups for LGBTQ+ people and the families and friends who love them.
• Cruse Bereavement SupportUKFree support after someone dies, by phone, online or in person.

Some pages here list groups for a particular situation: foster and kinship carers, caring for a parent and teens.

A few well-known books

Widely read, and easy to find in a library.

• Difficult Conversations Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen. For any two people: work, family, friends.
• Nonviolent Communication Marshall B. Rosenberg. Saying what you need without blame.
• Fair Play Eve Rodsky. Sharing the jobs at home, including the planning and remembering.
• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman and Nan Silver. For couples of any kind.
• Hold Me Tight Sue Johnson. Why couples get stuck in the same argument.
• Platonic Marisa G. Franco. Making and keeping friends as an adult.
• Set Boundaries, Find Peace Nedra Glover Tawwab. Saying no to family, friends and work.

For the research behind this site, see Research.

Why there’s no forum or group here

This site has no accounts, no comments and no community board, on purpose. A forum would mean keeping what people write on a server, and someone at home could find it. Everything you do here stays on your own device. The places above are run by people trained to help, with their own privacy rules. This site can’t see whether you visit them.