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When you want to text them, start here.
Wanting to message an ex is very common, especially late at night. It usually means you miss them. It doesn’t mean you have to send it.
Three steps for tonight
- Write it, don’t send it. Type it in your notes, not in your chat with them. Read it again in the morning.
- Text a friend instead: “I really want to message my ex right now. Can you talk me out of it for ten minutes?” Then mute or archive the chat with your ex.
- Keep three basics going: some sleep, a proper meal, and daylight every day.
From the guide: When you want to text them and The first days.
Come back for…
Tomorrow’s small step
Step 1 of 6: Read what to expect in the first days, and the basics that help. After a breakup: the first days
After a breakup: steady againJust you · 6 steps · a few minutes a day
Tick off each step here or on the journeys page. Only your ticks and dates are kept, on this device.
A one-minute breathing break
For the moment the urge to text is strongest: breathe in for four, out for six.
Breathe for a minuteA gentle check-in tomorrow
One reminder in your own calendar. It just says “A quick look back”.
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Next steps, when you’re ready
- After a breakup: steady againThe guide: the first days, feelings in waves, a kinder inner voice.
- The guided journeySix small steps over about two weeks, at your own pace.
- My weather todayA one-minute reading a day, so you can see the waves get smaller.
Good to know
- Free. No sign-up to use the tools.
- What you type stays on your device.
- Research-informed, with honest limits and the sources.
- Made by Christian. Who built this, and why
More you can do here
If it feels too heavy, or you can’t sleep or eat, please tell someone today: a friend, your doctor, or a helpline. Help beyond this site
If you are thinking about ending your life, please tell someone today. In the US and Canada, call or text 988. In the UK and Ireland, call Samaritans free on 116 123. In Australia, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. In New Zealand, call or text 1737. Anywhere else, findahelpline.com lists free helplines.