WP-02
How much are you carrying? A Five-Question Check on Yourself
Separating how much you're already carrying from how upset you are about this specific thing.
This worksheet puts Pillar III (“Read your state first”) to work. In you: you check how full your battery is before you judge a moment. Between you and others: you can pick your timing, and say "I'm carrying a lot today" before a hard talk.
Fill it in on screen and save a PDF · Read Chapter III · Settle first with the Calm-Down Kit (WP-11) · Build your Workpaper Suite
Purpose: a short checklist that each of you fills in about yourself. It separates "How much stress am I already carrying?" from "How upset am I about this one thing?" It is not a clinical test, just a structured gut-check.
Fill it in on your own. Score each row from 0 (not at all) to 4 (very true), based on how the last 24–48 hours have actually gone.
The Checklist
| Factor | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Sleep debt (less rested than usual) | |||||
| Workload elsewhere (job, school, caregiving) | |||||
| Recent unresolved conflict (any source) | |||||
| Physical state (hungry, sick, in pain) | |||||
| Time pressure today specifically |
0 = not at all · 4 = very true
Load score = the five scores added up, then divided by 20 (higher means a heavier load)
Higher means heavier. Under 0.30 is a low load, 0.30 up to 0.60 medium, 0.60 and up high.
0.00–0.29 · Low. Whatever is coming up is probably about the thing itself.
0.30–0.59 · Medium. Before a hard conversation, it's worth saying out loud: "heads up, I'm carrying more than usual today."
0.60–1.00 · High. Put off anything that doesn't need deciding in the next hour.
These bands are this site’s rule of thumb, not a validated clinical scale. They are a way to press pause, not a measure of anyone’s health.
What this workpaper is not for: Don't fill this in about the other person. And don't use your own high score to end a conversation you don't want to have. It's a way to press pause, not a way out. A high score means "let's come back to this tomorrow," not "this doesn't need to happen."
Today’s Scores
| Score | Date | |
|---|---|---|
| Person A | ||
| Person B |