Tool · Pairs with the wiring card in Wired Differently

How I like to be spoken to: a one-page card

Also called the Wiring Card

What it does: you pick what helps words reach you, what your silence means and what to avoid. What you get: a one-page card to copy, print or share. About 5 minutes

Pick what helps words reach you. Your card builds itself as you go. Copy it or print it, and give it to someone before a hard conversation, not during one.

Nothing you type is sent anywhere. Not a diagnosis.

More about this card

Your card updates as you go: beside the form on a wide screen, and below it on a phone. Give it to the people you live and work with.

Runs in your browser. Nothing you type is sent anywhere. A draft is kept in this tab only until you close it (Clear removes it sooner), and nothing is kept longer unless you tick “Keep my card on this device” (Erase removes it). “Fill from my Wavelength answers” only reads what Wavelength already keeps in this browser. This is not a diagnosis and not a label: it describes what helps words reach you. When you are running low, every line applies more strictly.

See also: Know your own wiring, which helps you tell lasting wiring from learned patterns and today’s conditions, and Wavelength: how you talk and listen, which finds your four-letter Wave Code.

What this is for. A card is a simple note about how you take in words. It is not a label, not permission to criticize, and not proof of bad intent. It tells someone how to send a request so it gets through. It doesn't make them responsible for managing you, and it doesn't mean you have to be available no matter how you feel. Stick to one topic at a time. The ground rules explain how to use what you wrote here in a conversation. Pair the card with the Chat analyzer when you want to test one sentence, and with Check-ins when the topic needs a calm, safe space. Wired Differently explains the ideas behind it.